Chapter 4: Trip the Light Fantastic

"Contrary to popular belief, the Weird Wizard did not create faeries. And if he did, they are acting precisely in accordance with their purpose. Which is to be annoying little -Expletive in plural format-." R3N-L3 quite literally said "Expletive in Plural Format" as he took a quick look around before shrugging, and with the tactical modicum of movement he usually acted upon, he retrieved a parcel of raspberry chocolate cookies out of his pack.

One really had to wonder where he'd learned baking, and why he was spending so much time on it. He walked over to one of the trees, offering some to a nearby squirrel. "Trade proposition. I provide these cookies. You bury our remains after we have been eaten alive by the faeries."

The ripple through the air was followed by Lauretta abruptly stopping the tale she was telling from her mercenary days. Annoyingly, Sergeant Heath's duel with a giant crab would have to wait to be finished another day. As she caught sight of the shifting faces in the trees, the Preceptor had almost forgotten she was telling the tale entirely. "Never ran into anything like this in all my years." Her axe was brandished in no time at all.

Watching R3N-L3 with eyebrows that questioned his sanity, Lauretta stepped closer to Wolfram. In a land such as this, it brought her some comfort to stand next to who she perceived to be the most normal of her companions. "I don't think faeries can eat the steel you're made of, Renly. We'll want to stick together if we're to make it out of this damned place. Whatever you do, don't trust anything."

"Ha, would you look at that. Seems like we have stepped through a portal of some kind. Wished we could have waited for Lauretta to finish that tale. Fascinating, it was so far."

Wolfram noticed Lauretta's new proximity and felt a little taller. Whether it was that she found him a comfort as they entered into battle yet again, or something else, he wasn't sure, but it was nice all the same.

"Let's see if our cookie baker can convince these faeries to leave us be and tell us where we are before we get too hasty with weapons."

That didn't stop Wolfram from placing a hand on his enchanted dagger.

"Understood, friend Lauretta, I shall not trust anything, including you." R3N-L3 intoned.

"Greetings. I will not trust you as I was instructed to by someone I do not trust." R3N-L3 said, descending into slightly awkward silence before proffering another cookie.

"Pastries do not require trust or a lack thereof, however."

Wolfram chuckles at Renly's comment about trust. It made the forester re-evaluate his feelings about the clockwork, at least in as much as it deserved to be addressed as Renly.

Wolfram was of course delighted to be among these odd trees and this strange looking faeire with the tufts of bright hair piqued his interest.

"Greetings, Myxlix. It seems as though we have entered your world unexpectedly. What is this place whose trees have faces that come and go? Don't mind Renly here. He knows no better, being an automaton as you seem to know already."

"Understood. Raising guard now." Something seemed to whirr briefly in R3N-L3's carapace, but nothing actually appeared to be happening. A second later, the warform tilted his head in the man's direction. "If they attempt to kill us, would it not be justified for us to exterminate them?"

Lauretta's finger raised as if to counter the clockwork's directive to not trust her, but then it slowly dropped. Actually, that's probably for the best. Changelings or illusions could always be afoot. She simply followed alongside Wolfram as they continued on. "Remind me and I'll finish the tale later. Though, I'm not sure if any of my tales will ever live up to Renly, the cookie-baking war machine."

---

The Preceptor's guard did not break throughout their jaunt, and it certainly did not do so when they bumped into Myxlix. She considered arguing that pastries do require a degree of trust, but she thought the better of it. "I'd rather not have to spill blood if it can be avoided, but that won't stop me from defending myself. If these other denizens you speak of can be so hostile, would you be willing to show us the way out? My automaton friend can be rather goal-oriented if something gets in the way of his objectives. It wouldn't end well for anyone."

"I am on a mission to dismantle malfunctioning Wizard creations." R3N-L3 chipped in helpfully.

Wolfram, whose delight was cut short by the faerie's threat, chuckled at Lauretta's cookie comment.

"Oh, I doubt that, Lauretta. I'm sure your tales have and will raise many eyebrows. I look forward to more." As to leaving this place, it appeared that would not be easy.

"That's a little much, don't you think?" Wolfram asked Myxlyx, realizing that they probably had entered into a negotiation. "What if none of us can swim or dive to the bottom of a body of water?"

"I can submerge myself into many toxic liquids and remain unharmed." R3N-L3 supplied helpfully.

So much for negotiating... Wolfram thinks as he stifles a chuckle at the lack of social programming in the clockwork.

Tzal had been worried and silent ever since they stumbled upon the fairy place. Ordinary laws of nature don't work in these places, and they are as fickle as the denizens of these places, the fairies themselves. He silently cursed himself for not spending time with Wizard Mordaine, who specialized in fairies and their realms. But whoever knew that they would ever fall into one? Generally, there are signs showing that a fairy door is in the vicinity. Perhaps he was too surprised to see the Preceptor open up to her friends that he missed the signs completely and fell to this place with others? It was too late to ponder the consequences.

He watched the fairy Myxlix and his otherworldy demands about random things. Who is even the Great Mean Man? Or the Old Man Time? It all sounded like elaborate pranks and tricks. He silently bowed to the fairy and then walked out of earshot distance with his friends and spoke, "This all seems jumbled and smells of pranks. Maybe we should find another fairy and talk about their version of the story. Or we could just proceed and ask around about these things and probably find someone more understanding and manageable in their request."

The nonsensical prattle of the faerie left Lauretta with only frustrated curses in her mind. She stepped away with Tzal to prevent herself from getting overly hostile with the creature. The last thing the group needed was to make an enemy of every tricky nuisance in a land they were completely lost in.

"It's all absolute nonsense. Can't trust any fey to give a straight answer, but we're stuck here without a clue otherwise. Other than blindly asking questions and pressing on, the only thing I can think to do is to quietly wrangle one of them and force it to speak plainly. That'd just be a matter of picking our target carefully."

"Yes. I say we find another that might be more willing to give us the information we seek." He was as frustrated as the others in dealing with the whims of an untrustworthy faerie.