Romance and Relationships in Games

So now that we've chatted a bit about the incoming robot apocalypse (wielding their em-dashes like spears), how about a lighter, less heated (or more heated, if you know what i mean) topic?

●What is everyone's thoughts on romance in your games? Interested in it or not, and why?

●Would you rather romance an NPC or a fellow player? Any interesting tales of successful in-game relationships? Or, shudder, horror stories?

●What's your general attitude toward players with similar/opposite view on romance? Does it weird you out when someone wants to romance NPC/PC or outright starts flirting? For those who involve romance in their games - do you set any boundaries, or.. what are they called.. x-cards?

● Is there difference for you as ST/GM vs regular player - you won't run it, but might play/play alongside it?

● For those who play with the SO - any agreements/rules? Banned/allowed/only to each other's characters?

On a similar note, how often do you create partners for your characters? Spouses, *friends, partners, SO's? Do you like doing that or not?

I know this is a "pen and paper" forum, but.. Any interesting stories of this around live tables? That where all the juicy drama would happen, i recon..

I also specifically didn't mention anything "going to black" related, as i feel it might constitute an interesting thread all on its own..

Ooh, a spicy topic! :3
I love shipping characters in generals and that includes my own, so I'm usually open to roleplaying romance. Although I find that I prefer it to be alongside a different theme, not as the sole focus. And it's not that I'm any good at roleplaying romance, but I enjoy it, and so that's not going to stop me!

If I know the GM and other players are alright with it, I rather freely have my characters flirt with NPCs, and have had plenty of nice subplots in that vein before. (Shoutout to all the GMs who entertained it!) I also often end up just as attached to these NPCs as my own characters and commonly ask the GM to let me have said characters after the game is over. I have a whole gaggle of NPCs yoinked (with permission) that way, and of course they're going to show up if I ever reuse the corresponding PCs.

Where it comes to romancing PCs, I usually feel a little cautious about it - if it's not a group/player whom I know to be into character romance, I usually stick with either GMPCs or my own background NPCs. However, occasionally I really like the dynamic between my character and someone else's and that leads to me building up enough courage to ask the other player if they will be okay with having our characters build up a romantic bond. (To this day I believe I did it twice, both times with an affirmative result).

Also when I know for sure that other players are into shipping, I have much more courage to be proactive in my in-character flirting - although I still prefer to ask first.

As for the boundaries, I started to warn everyone in advance whenever I join a new game that I like shipping and therefore want to know if they are alright with witnessing it and having my character flirt with theirs. That just helps to set expectations for myself and get in the right mindset!

For creating romantic connections for characters, it directly depends on the game. If it is a game where I believe romance can happen, then my characters are single and interested; if not, they either have an attached NPC romantic interest (or a friend leaning romantic interest) or are more interested in their job/hobby than flirting. If the game is something in-between, then usually no clearly stated partner but a possible NPC connection (a back-up plan if there is no GMPC or PC to flirt with, you may say). It's a whole system!

(I'm also in one semi-duet game which is specifically focused on romance - including the system. I also really need to post in this game; I'm a slacker. :'D)

And for successful in-game relationships which actually got successful during the game, I have a mercenary electrician PC who pretended to be an inspector to distract a construction worker NPC, invited him for coffee and then they just continued meeting during timeskips while the space station around them was dealing with weird infection and cults of alien gods. Before the game ended the GM even confirmed a happily ever after for them, so I was much delighted by the outcome, potential looming apocalypse notwithstanding.

So yeah, I find joy in romantic relationships between characters. :3 As long as players and GMs are alright or enthusiastic about it, it can be a lot of fun for me!

As a player, yes, if it results in interesting dialogue.
Horror story! Abridged synopsis: was in an abusive relationship, dumped the PC, and should have left the game at that moment because it got weird.

After that experience, I would only romance an NPC (and play it as a love story, not creepy abusive "drama"). The GM won’t attach their ego to the character the way a player might. And if the relationship ends, that character isn’t in your party so you can avoid the weirdness of adventuring with your ex. (Especially if your ex likes to pour salt on re-opened wounds right before a stealth mission.)
Every player should be on board with the presence of romance and the nature of it. It shouldn’t be X-carded, but rather, discussed up front. (I mean, yes, speak up if the romance is more "gratuitous" than you’d bargained for.)
I would not go out of my way to run it, but in my current game there have been hints at sapphic interests. But if a player had acted on any of that, it would have been mostly off-camera.
I will admit to a few games where I thought, "when in Rome…" But going forward, it’s PG-13 for me. The dialogue in romance is fun. RP’ing sex "on-screen" cheapens the experience. And the worst part is it’s only when you read the other players’ cringy sex-capades you ask yourself, "is THAT how I sound?" Yeah… fade to black. Let imaginations fill in the blank or choose not to.

I don't have a super strong opinion on this. As with just about everything, consent and communication are key. I am not opposed to romance being part of a game, but it is not something I would endeavor to include either.

I am not the biggest fan of romance media in general. Really the only romance story I ever cared for was Revolutionary Girl Utena. Although it has been so long, I only remember it in the broadest of strokes. Thinking about that just now, I guess the setting would make for a cool RPG, but I have no idea how one would go about playing something like that.

I wouldn't want to do it at an in-person game, but I enjoy it in play-by-post. I've had romance happen in games I was GMing as well as games I've played in and it's been fun.

I am currently romancing @bowlofspinach and @lightofmidnight in separate games right now and it just adds another level to the RP and helps me get invested in the characters.

I am open to it, but it really depends on the game.
Most D&D-like combat focussed adventure campaigns are generally not the right place for it. But more modern slice of life settings with adventure could be great to add romance scenes.

Romance? Not in my games! It's not something I enjoy roleplaying. My players have decided to opt for "Closed Door" romance, but painting that door bright red.

At most I'll throw in hints and "off screen" stuff happening. Never been comfortable roleplaying it, it's just not my thing. I enjoy other kinds of emotional ties though, like a big brother, a father, etc.

For the longest time, I didn't bother with relationships beyond the normal found family group dynamics. But a particular D&D campaign opened my eyes to the heights such endeavors can achieve. It might be a bad idea in some situations, but I always have the possibility in the back of my mind when I'm playing in games now.

Oh, and a word of advice. Don't let them buy sketchy magic items in Waterdeep. Trust me on that one.

I think it depends entirely on the game / setting / genre. Romance, sex, jealousies, unrequited love, mad crushes are a staple in some stories... and have no real place in some others. I will say I've played with a lot of prudes in my day, and the absence of all that in a game where humans are supposed to behave like humans with emotions (Delta Green, street-level supers, spies) always rings false for me.

I'm afraid we are rather boring in that respect as 'explicit sexual content' is the only 'Red Line' my players have defined for our gameplay. So, romance and sexual interactions are literally 'off the table'.

I do include the usual stereotypical brothels and similar background encounters in the game but these activities are very low profile and hinted at rather than described. Relationships between characters are generally based upon loyalty, admiration and friendship more than love, and whilst I have introduced love interests for one or two of the PCs they tend not to live very long. The latest victim being Tarragon Burdock, the halfling dockworker who has been trying to impress Moli Brandysnap (PC Halfling thief) but was recently killed by 'The Shorty Slicer' on the Beloved of Mannan Pier in Altdorf.

Do go on..

The WFRP game setting is loosely based upon the historical medieval to late 16th Century time period and so includes brothels, bawdy houses and bathhouses. The party found themselves hiding in the rented rooms of 'The Crown and Two Chairmen' in 'The Street of One Hundred Taverns' in Altdorf, an Inn favoured by students from the nearby university, and which provided all forms of entertainment including sexual liaisons in the curtained booths that lined the walls.

As GM, I provided enough information to ensure that the players were aware of what went on behind the curtains, so they understood the nature of the inn's entertainment, but I was spared the need to go into any detail.

I would be interested!

It's definitely a hard Line for me (I, as a player, do not want to be engaged with romance in games), and generally a Veil for games I play in (I'm not at all interested in seeing others play out/describe such interactions). Fade to black - great! Act it out? No thanks.

I had some bad experiences in the early 00s while playing female-avatar characters in online roleplay servers or "persistent worlds" (if anyone else here was DEEP into Neverwinter Nights at the time). That factors into it just creeping me out, but also... it's just never been something I needed or sought from the role-playing experience, I guess?

It's just not any part of what I'm t/here for.

In my last IRL vampire game, everything was on the table. Being long time friends meant few things surprise us, and we didn't hold back when it suited the story.

My wife jokes about how surreal it was for her husband and her oldest male friend to be RPing two sides of a seduction scene in character haha.

We're starting a new campaign shortly with a gay couple with whom we've gamed somewhat but aren't long term friends by any stretch. I expect that when next week we have a session zero we'll draw some lines and veils for the beginning and only ease into more open exchanges later. Find each other's boundaries and respect them.

You have to build the trust, and you can't just say "let's agree to trust". As others have said, you don't always know what kind of nonsense the others in your game have faced.

My wife plays, and I think that I'm actually harder on her (unintentionally) than the other players, so that I won't be accused of favoritism. Fortunately, she does not GM.

As for romantic encounters in game, it happens quite a bit. I am reminded of the time that the characters were in a tavern, and I threw in a bard just for flavor. One of the players became enamoured with the bard (who was, at this point, still nameless) and invited him to join the party. Their romance grew over the course of the campaign until he was unfortunately killed in action.

On another occasion, a player character developed a romantic relationship with an NPC, and they ended up getting married in the campaign. In that same campaign, there was a very unusual relationship that developed between two NPCs (a druid and a weretiger!). It was a double wedding.

My wife has played a married couple (back when I had so few players that everyone played two characters) and they eventually had a daughter (she continued to adventure up until the 8th month) who also became a player character.

In the realm of PbP, I played a female halfling who entered into a relationship with another female character. We kept it clean and faded to black when necessary, but it was a lot of fun to play.

Finally, in my Wednesday night Savage Worlds game recently, one of the players has developed feelings for an extra (it probably doesn't hurt that I used a picture of Idris Elba for his portrait). The relationship is still in the early stages, but I'm open to exploring it further.

I feel that romance is a part of life, even more so than violence, and as such, it has a place in the game. If it blossoms, it happens. Fade to black when things get too heated and go on with the game.

It's worth noting that computer games such as Baldur's Gate III and Kingmaker feature the possibility of romantic entanglements. And Wrath of the Righteous has two NPCs in a relationship that is featured as a plot device.

WhtKnt, Baldur's Gate III is a romantic entanglement that features the possibility of adventure.

True, dat.