The Tomtom Hunt

The Tomtom prances through the snowy yard, chuckling to himself. He capers and cavorts in the wintry wonderland, determined to stay one step ahead of his would-be pursuers. With a wiggle of his nose, he dives into a snowdrift and disappears. The hunt is on!

Parish steps out the door of the Bed and Breakfast and puts a gloved hand to his brow. He looks out at the trackless white snow and wonders where the wiley gremlin is hiding.

"This reminds me of the last voyage of my grand uncle Ernie Shackletoad, a great explorer. He was in the race to be the first of his spawn to the South Pole and spent over a year trapped in ice while being stalked by a great white snow beast. I had planned to accompany him on the journey as the third mate. But instead, the fourth mate had been promoted to third (for political reasons of course) and instead I languished in port, making ready his grand return. I was crushed at the time but in hindsight, it was a blessing as grand uncle returned half the frog he left. Quite literally."

He continues gazing off at the horizon, drifting along in thought. He adjusts his old suit of armor he had put on underneath his warm jacket. It fit a bit snug around the waist, but he had managed it. Having to don long underwear beneath it to keep the metallic chill off his skin hadn't helped matters either. But this would be a glorious hunt worthy of such accouterments.

"Well.." A familiar voice said from beside him. Somehow Yazeba was already outside, dressed in a warm cloak, a woolen witches hat and dark purple ear muffs. She had already noticed the Tomtom during the night. "Are you going to stand around and reminisce, or are you going to actually take action?" She says with a sneer.

She had been trying to hunt down the Tomtom for many years now. That little pest kept ruining her day every time they were around! Not this year, she vowed. Her fury building up inside. She was in a bad mood and someone or something was going to suffer her wrath this day!

"It's not just going to give up, you know." She adds, still talking to Parish and rolling her eyes. "I swear, without me nothing would get done in time around here."

FoPTooL leads Amelie into the woods. After a few minutes, you hear a faint, musical drumming from the woods, as if someone were dancing on a tree with wooden shoes. The drumming continues for several seconds before the sound fades away.

BOOM!

One of the trees in the woods crackles as a gnome-sized hole goes straight through the thick bark. Not far away, Yazeba stands with her index finger pointing towards that exact tree, which collapses under its own weight and falls just in front of the residents to create an unexpected blockade.

"Darn, I think I missed." Is all Yazeba says.

As the echoes of the falling tree fade away, you hear another commotion from behind you! Following the sounds back to the B&B, you find the garage door open, and Sal’s van blasting its hi-beams and country classics over busted radio speakers. Oh, that rascally Tomtom!

As they return from the garage, Parish realizes the fallen tree blocks their path toward the woods - and Amelie!

"Egads! We must catch up to Amelie, Yazeba! Never split the party!" He rushes to the tree and throws his weight against it. Although heavy, the snow helps it move easier and he is able to spin it out of the way.

"*huff huff* I seem to have dented my armor a bit. Nothing to be concerned about. *huff* I'm sure I can get Percy to hammer it back into the proper form."

As Parish bravely rescues Amelie, the knight spots the Tomtom's pointed footprints leading deeper into the woods. They then turn straight up the trunk of a tree and into the canopy!

"Amelie can take care of themselves. This is no job for the weak!" Yazeba replies to Parish's plea to stick together.

"Now where did that bugger run off to?!?" She says irately. "Ooooh if I get my hands on this Tomtom..." Blue flames can be seen by anyone brave enough to look her in the eyes right now.

"Amelie, Parish, go around and flush that gnome out towards me." She tells her fellow hunters. "I'll take care of the rest."

As the smoke clears, the Tomtom is still nowhere in sight. But you can see his pointy tracks traipsing through the garden, in and out, in and out of the Rabbits’ holes!

As Amelie moves off in pursuit of the Tomtom, their metallic foot triggers a hidden tripwire. Suddenly, a barrage of snowballs flies through the air, slamming into Amelie's torso with cold, wet thuds. The snowballs form the shape of a big, smiley face!

Yazeba coughs and waves her arms, trying to get rid of the smoke. "Did we get him?" But she already knew the answer to that question. The Tomtom had once again outsmarted them. When it finally clears, she spots Amelie making their way across the grounds in pursuit of their target. A silvery glint hovering at ankle-height reveals one of the Tomtom's tricks.

"Amelie don't ... " But it's too late the snowballs are already flying. Yazeba sighs. She walks up next to Amelie as they are reheating their core temperature and rubs her hands as if getting some warmth by a fireplace. "Well, at least your 'space heater' skills are working." She comments sharply. For a moment it seems like it could have been a compliment, but the look on her face makes it pretty clear it's not.

"He went that way." She says, looking at the prints in the snow. "Perfect."
Earlier, Yazeba had set up a little trap of her own. Knowing that the Tomtom will get up to their usual tricks, she decided to provide a taste of their own medicine. Near the swing in the garden she had put a bucket of pine cones. The Tomtom always loved to throw them at any passerby when the opportunity presented itself. But this time they'll find a very sticky surprise! The pines cones have been bewitched with a sticky-spell and will stick to anyone who touches them.

Yazeba discovers the sticky pinecones are missing from their bucket! And not only that, you can hear the sound of wooden clogs clomping from somewhere nearby. The trail sends onwards, but the Tomtom can’t have gotten far!

"Quick! After him, stalwart companions! I hear that rascal just ahead!" says Parish. He raises his shovel in the air, like a sword, and charges forward along the trail, his dented armor clanking underneath his warmer outerwear. "I will catch you forthwith, you naughty gnome!"

Parish charges forward along the trail, blundering headfirst through heavy branches and deep snow. Each step leaves another dent in his old armor. Once the knight stops shouting, he realizes he can no longer hear the Tomtom’s clogs. The wily gnome must have gone in a different direction!

Yazeba curses, seeing the empty pine cone bucket. "That little...!!!" She clencher her fists.
As Parish thunders forward, Yazeba's anger swells and magic erupts from where her heart used to be, shooting out across the white snow until it hits Parish's shovel. The shovel's head promptly doubles in size, yet not in weight. His dented armor straightens and regains a former sheen.

"I'm losing my patience with this one." She says, following the others.

Amelie’s scan fails to uncover the icy trap before it’s too late. A thin layer of snow gives way beneath their feet, and the robot plummets into a sinkhole ten feet deep! Fortunately, there are plenty of leaves at the bottom to break their fall, but there’s no easy way back up.

Yazeba sighs when she sees Amelie fall for another trap. She shakes her head. "That robot needs to get her optical receptors checked." She makes a note to herself. "She might be missing a lot of dust around the house."

She walks up to the hole where Amelie finds herself in and puts a hand next to her mouth so she can yell down it. "These grounds are full of rabbit tunnels, you know." The red alarm light gives enough light inside the dark shaft for her to spot one. "There, that one looks big enough for you to squeeze through." She doesn't wait for Amelie to get out and sets off after the Tomtom again.

"Parish?" She yells. "Have you found the bugger yet?"

"It seems the chase continues," Parish says. He pulls a thermos and several paper cups from his jacket pockets. "Here! Cups of hot chocolate for everyone! I put in a little cinnamon and a shot of espresso to give us a bit more pep for this grand adventure!" He offers a cup to Yazeba and Amelie.

The trail wends onwards, but the Tomtom himself doesn't seem to be nearby...

"Ah Grackle! A wonder to see you out on wintry day! It's as cold as a witch's tit out here!" Parish says, trying to build comraderie with another worker at the B&B. But then he realizes what he said and that it is less a harmless platitude when it references your boss who is standing nearby. "A witch's tent I said. TENT. Ahem..." The color drains from his cheeks, leaving them a light minty green color.

Yazeba shows up just as Parish makes his comment. She gives him a look that could kill a yack from 200 meters away, but then Parish corrects his saying to one that's acceptable. After all, witches tents were notoriously cold! They really didn't bother with heating what so ever.

"Taking yet another break? Grackle?" She asks the grounds keeper inquisitively. "You know, I think you could get the work done in half the time if you weren't eating most of the fertilizer yourself." The annoyed undertone becomes more of an overtone in her voice.

The Tomtom's pointy tracks lead to an old, old clearing in the woods--one you've never seen before--then vanish. It's unearthly quiet here...

"Amelie" Yazeba's voice calls out from behind. "Which directing is your flap tool saying the Tomtom went?" She's getting so fed up with these shenanigans and her temper isn't getting any easier to control because of it!

"Foes fire! I need to get my hands on that little... hoodlum." It sounds like Yazeba wanted to say something more offensive there, but corrected herself in the nick of time. "And where is Parish? Is he still talking to Grackle? Don't tell me he's given up already!?!" If Yazeba's eyes could shoot fire, which they probably could, it would probably happen within the next 28 seconds.

Parish returns to the others. Grackle had offered some fertilizer as a fortifying snack, but Parish had declined when he realized there were no worms or other bugs in it.

Upon rejoining, he senses Yazeba's foul mood and decides leaping into action is the best way forward.

"Have we cornered the faerie fellow? Into yon clearing forwith!" he says as he jogs into the clearing. Once he discovers the tracks disappear, he brandishes his shovel. "Hide under the snow will you? I will clear this whole clearing and dig you up like a weed from the garden!"

Parish begins frantically shoveling snow from the clearing but is quickly out of breath. "Yes. Root and stem... you shall be... removed," he huffs. The clearing appears mostly the same despite his clanging effort.

Parish’s digging proves fruitless. However, when you retrace your steps back to the B&B, Amelie is horrified to see their tidy tarp-covered lawn furniture on the patio has been scattered, along with an upended bag of charcoal that streaks the snow black!

Incensed at the destruction of his carefully prepared and organized charcoal, Parish again brandishes his shovel and charges after the black streaks in the snow.

"Your goose is cooked now, vandal!" he yells.

"It's a fake trail" Yazeba says "Obviously..." rolling her eyes. Then her head turns towards the barbeque that's stood on the patio. Suspiciously, it's the only thing that didn't get knocked over. Of course, someone should have put that thing in the shed months ago when it was still autumn, but she'll just have to get angry about that later.

She walks to the snow-covered BBQ and lifts the lid in one quick motion. "I got you now, you pest!"

The Tomtom is not under the lid of the BBQ. However, there is a charming little wooden heart that looks like it is freshly whittled. A cute little fairy blessing for Yazeba!

The trail wends onwards, but Amelie can once again here the clomping of the Tomtom's clogs from somewhere nearby. You're hot on his heels!

Yazeba slams the lid down again, giving it a new permanent dent. "Foes fire! I was sure of it!" She looks like she's fuming and could explode at the drop of a hat.

"I know, we need more light!" She points her finger up to the sky and a bright flare shoots up into the night, illuminating the immediate area. Unfortunately, the flare is so bright that it blinds everyone who looks at it for half a minute as their eyes try to adjust to the intensity.

Amelie surges forward, and there in the clearing ahead stands the Tomtom! The little gnome's eyes widen and he holds up his hands in a gesture of peace, a sheepish grin spreading across his features.

Somewhere behind you, you hear a weird yelp as Yazeba, blinded by her own spell, trips and falls off the patio into a pile of snow which subsequently melts away by the pure heat of rage coming off the witch.

When her eyes finally adjust again and she gets back up, she sees Amelie standing in front of ... is that ... It couldn't be ... the "TOMTOM!" She yells. Her fists crackle with the sound of thunder as she strides across the lawn. "You will not mess with my B&B or anyone who lives under its roof again!" She shouts from a distance.

Someone might have to calm her down before she gets there.

The Tomtom shrugs and smiles at Amelie’s question. He points to his mouth and shakes his head as if to indicate that he is unable to speak.

At Yazeba’s shout, the Tomtom turns pale. He cowers in the snow, fearful of the angry witch!

The Tomtom's fear turns to wonder at the offer. He nods eagerly, then looks carefully from Amelie to Yazeba to gauge the witch's reaction.

"Now Yazeba, let's not do anything rash. We have captured the knave and he'll do no more harm," Parish says as he moves to stand in front of the witch.

"As a matter of fact, what better way to curtail and control the mischievous miscreant than to keep him at the B&B under your watchful gaze. I could put him to work as a scullion peeling potatoes and teach him the value of a hard day's work! You could even think of it as community service for his trickery."

Luckily, Parish' words manage to sink in. "That's true. None of the guests would dare to do any such mischief and risk being kicked out." She concludes, probably quite naively as she seriously underestimates the amount of mischief that people get up to in her B&B. With this, her rage lowers back to the standard level.

"Very well." She says reluctantly. "You can stay in my B&B." Then she turns to Parish. "Parish, I'm putting you in charge of this gnome and will hold you accountable for any damages!" With this she turns and heads back inside. As she's walking back, she calls out "Oh and Amelie, there's a thermos that I need to take with me tomorrow morning and it's still filled with hot cocoa. Make sure it's empty and clean by the time I wake up!"

The Tomtom silently cheers as Yazeba walks away. He smiles up at Amelie, then offers his hand to Parish (who is the same size as the gnome), eager to start his tenancy as a new guest of the B&B!

Some time later when everyone is inside, Yazeba is standing on the patio. Amelie had already put everything back the way it should be. In her head she is recalling the events from earlier.

She takes hold of the lid of the grill and lifts it quietly. Her other hand reaches inside and takes out the little wooden heart, which after a quick glance disappears into her coat pocket. With her hand clenched tightly around the wooden heart, she just stands there for a while. A single drop of water rolls down her cheek. If anyone would have been around to notice it, they might have almost thought that she was crying...

As they walk back to the B&B, Parish explains to the Tomtom some of his new duties as scullion. He hopes the directions will help keep the gnome out of trouble.

---

Back in his room, Parish removes his old suit of armor. It is covered in large dents and the snow has caused rust to blossom in several spots. The old leather straps are also much worse for wear, having strained to keep the armor on his more portly current body.

He sets it gingerly back on the armor stand but in this condition, it just slides off with a clangor onto the ground in a jumbled heap.

Wren's eyes light up. "You want to fly? Of course! I'm a master of flight, don't y'know? I'll take you up in The Bishop! Let's go into the wild blue yonder!"

They put their arm around Amelie's shoulders. As they walk away, Wren remarks, "Amelie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship..."